There is nothing quite like a weekend Model United Nations
(MUN) conference. At first they can seem
a bit intimidating an even daunting.
Eventually however you get used to their natural flow and rhythm. Each different delegate has their was of
riding this flow and their own method of getting into character. The day you get up for the start of an MUN
conference is filled with anticipation.
At first a flood of very English
practical questions rush into ones' mind; what size bag should I bring? Shall I bring trainers AND my suit
shoes? How long will it take to walk to
the station? This is followed by a
flurry of questions typical of MUN veterans; what will the delegates on the
committee be like? Will I be able to
work with them? Will I like them? Will I be driven to the point where I want to
strangle them with a durable piece of rope?
What will my chairs be like? Will
they be devoid of any sense of humour like humanoid androids? What hotel with this MUN club treat us
to? What state will I be in on the
Sunday morning? How many delegates will
turn up on the Sunday morning? Such
concerns confront the MUN veteran at the start of their day.
Once you arrive at the train station where the conference is
being held you start to bump into some of the usual suspects. Acquaintances, enemies (hopefully not too
many) and friends from past MUN battles fought appear. Warm handshakes and greetings are given and
much reminiscing ensues. Nerdy political
obsessions are indulged in. An African
coup here. A stupid remark from a world
leader there. Take it from me, after
experiencing the forced hospitality of other university club groups, there is
nothing quite like the warmth and candour of the MUN community. It is a coalition of the strange to be sure,
but at its heart it is full of kind hearted and passionate people. One can feel fully at home in such a
community, and I do.
Most people cab it or bus it to the conference venue. However if the venue isn't too far away I
normally take a leisurely walk. This
serves two functions. First of all I am
by no means a morning person and usually don't look or feel my best at this
time of day. At one conference I woke up
in my hotel room and went down to breakfast after admittedly having too much
wine the night before. I saw a good
friend of mine sat down with his girlfriend who I was yet to be introduced to
sitting with him in one corner of the breakfast hall. Noting my haggard appearance and bloodshot
eyes I thought that discretion would be the better part of valour and made for
a table by myself on the other side of the hall. But mostly my morning walk is one of
contemplation. As I take in the
surroundings of a new town I start to strategise. If it is my first day I speculate on what the
delegates on my committee would be like.
If it is later on I either celebrate or commiserate the delegates I am
stuck with, knowing that for good or ill I will have to find a way to work with
them. I start to ask myself many
questions; who is on my side? Who could
be on my side? Who is definitely not on
my side? Why is that delegate being
annoying? Are they personally or their
country being a jerk? How do I restrain
myself from dangling that person out of an open window? On my walk strategies are laid down and plans
are made. But soon I find that Colin
Powell was right. The best laid battle
plans rarely survive a war.
In Model UN there are many committees. Matters concerning world heritage sights and
places of natural beauty are talked about on UNESCO. Human Rights is unsurprisingly the main talking
point of the Human Rights Council. The
Disarmament Committee talks about territorial disputes as well as specific
armaments issues. Ecofin talks about
specific economic issues. SPECPOL talks
about subjects relating to decolonisation.
Now and again there are some specialised regional committees such as the
Arab League or African Union. There are
also specialised Crisis scenarios, each portraying a unique scenario with
unique players at each conference.
Recently my main home at MUN has become the UN Security
Council. It is a smaller group compared
to the others, 15 delegates in all. But
5 of those delegates are the big bad Permanent 5 (P5), the veto wielding
countries (United States of America, UK, France, Russia and China). The veto means that any member of the P5 can
strike down either a part of a resolution or the entire thing. In an instant they can destroy an entire day
or 2 days work. With this amount of
control it is no wonder that the calls for Security Council reform have
increased, since many argue it is somewhat outdated to have the victors of WW2
as the gatekeepers.
So why do I like the Security Council? I see the Security Council as a high stakes
poker game. It is a game of lobbying,
pleading, threatening and most of all persuading. You have to keep your cool and work out what
is workable. Things are a lot easier as
a P5 country granted, but then that is balanced out by you being less likely to
get an award. It can suck being a tiny
country being ignored, sitting next to the US, frowning as messages get thrown
over your desk to theirs. But then if
you think hard enough the chance to provoke other countries or get them to go
on the defensive is always there. Being
a small country on the Security Council sets you up for a very tough fight, but if you handle it well
enough it can be pretty exhilarating.
I have only been a P5
country once and that was when I played Russia at the Reading conference in
2013. I had all the power and of course
I let it all go to my head, I had far too much fun at that conference. The hint of the power I had came when I first
walked into the conference. On the way
to the room I tried to make small talk with a delegate. He was rude to me for no reason at all, so I
decided I would make an example of him.
And so I did, he was Morocco and wanted some face saving crap on the
resolution . So I told him to move the
offending clause or kiss goodbye to the resolution. Baffled I told him in no certain to get out
of my face and have the clause deleted by the time I got back from getting a
coffee. He dutifully followed his
marching orders. The entire debate
basically involved me saying the opposite things to the rest of the P5, except
China. I found that the threat of using
the veto was the more potent than the veto itself. We got closer and closer to voting in the
resolution when time and time again I came back with more demands. Some delegates lost their cool. Others were very cool under fire and it was
those who snuck a very cleverly written resolution under my nose. In the end I didn't get an award but I had a
great time. I even became a minor
celebrity among some Russian students who wanted their picture taken with
me! I have hence called my Russia on the
Security Council Strategy the 'taking candy from a baby strategy'.
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